a new story, an old story.

Sometimes, the dark places, dark things, can start to follow us. I mean, really follow us.

I started work on a new story yesterday for submission in February.
I've promised myself that even though I've graduated art school, I am going to keep submitting and hopefully winning some money for my writing. And some credit.
Unfortunately, sometimes my stories are pretty dark in nature.
The last one got me in a funk for two days, where I had nightmares and weird thoughts.
This latest story is starting to have the same effect.
I think sometimes when we open a door, we can't control what comes in.
In order to write these stories, I have to open myself (and my mind) up to some dark things. I have to be willing to think about my characters, and where the dark corners of their minds are, and just how far they're willing to go to get what they want.

The weird thing is- I like it.
I know that sounds bad. But, a part of me likes these dark places in people. They are more mysterious, they make better stories, they are a side of life that is exciting.
Not that I want to live that way.
But, it's just so interesting.
Don't get scared. I'm not dwelling there. But my characters are. They live there, they hang out in these dark places. They feed on them.
Yeah, I know. It's creepy.

But the creepiest part is that something inside of me really is a writer that never stops working, even in my sleep.
For example, I am writing a story about a bad boy and the good girl who starts hanging out with him because she's weirdly fascinated by him.
And last night, I dreamed with someone in my life who was very similar to this character. Someone in my past.
And in the dream, he locked my entire family in a house and burned it to the ground, while I was watching, because I had fallen for some "nice" guy.
Whoa.
So, I figure I'll stick this in my story. Hey, I may as well not suffer through weird nightmares for nothing.

But, I'll close that dark door once I finish it. And unlike my past self, I won't re-open it. I won't even walk in there, and I definitely won't make a home in it. Maybe my dark stories will help people wish for something light, maybe they won't. But they will for me.