Give it away, give it away, give it away NOW.

I drank too much caffeine last night, which means I stayed up all night thinking about my latest story/ contest entry.
I've come up with some good stuff, I think.
Well, I guess everybody thinks their own stuff is good.
Anyway, I mostly just laid in my bed last night twitching and shaking my leg, and bouncing like an old man with restless leg syndrome.
I hate caffeine.
I think I will ban caffeine from my life at any hours past 5 p.m.
Also, last night, thanks to Sara, I cleaned out my closet.
I am not kidding.
I must have thrown out (i mean "put into the donate pile") at least 15 items.
You must be thinking "Good job! You're doing so well."
Yeah, right.
Mostly, I will replace those 15 items with another 15 items.
If Joyce Meyer was here, she would say that "whatever you confess with your mouth, will happen".
"Expect the good".
So I figure, I will expect to be tempted to buy 15 more things, and that somehow, God will stop me.
I will confess though, that I did purchase a new pair of boots.
To which you are thinking "GAW! Luisa, come on! Stop! Can't you just stop?"
Here's my problem:
BOREDOM.
Sheer, UTTER, RIDICULOUS, ALL ENCOMPASSING BOREDOM.
I am freaking bored, especially at work. So, I spend most of my free time online "browsing". It takes me about 30 minutes per day to do the work I need to do, and in my down time, I don't know what to do with myself.
Okay fine, more than 30 minutes.
But, then I am bored again, and find myself browsing and browsing.
Why not read the news instead?
Because browsing makes me happy, and news makes me depressed.
Which is why, I have begun writing instead.
It's much more productive, methinks.
And less expensive.
In fact, if I win the latest contest, I will get 1,200 dollars. And then, I can pay off some student loans. This, is a very promising prospect. I owe tons of money in student loans, and I hope that I will win at least one of these contests.
In other news, unrelated, I think I have a coveting problem.
I think coveting is mostly just wanting something you don't currently have.
Without any real NEED for it.
Like someone's wife, or someone's house, or someone's position at work, or someone's talent, or someone's looks-
or someone's boots.
Yes, I have a coveting problem. At least God has made me aware of it, and I am not just sitting in my heap of covet-ness hoping that things will get better. I always trusts that God makes us aware of things because he wants to make sure that we can admit how powerless we are in that area, and then turn to him for help. And when we do, he helps us.
Rob Bell gave a sermon once where he talked about how everything is spiritual. And sometimes, as God's people, we can begin to live in the "material" versus the spiritual. I dont think he meant the material, like material "posessions". Although, that is part of it.
I think he meant more like the things we can see, feel, touch rather than the ethereal.
I think this kind of behavior really kills any hope we have in Jesus. The more I think about what's actually in front of me (like my clothing, my job, my co-workers, my community, my house) the less I can focus on God's greater purpose and plan, the way he is orchestrating our lives, his ministry at my school, and the material things he wishes I'd let go of so I could hang on to him instead.
The bible says "hate what is evil, cling to what is good".
Sometimes we label "evil" as a person, or a thing, or a behavior. But what if what is "evil" is a state of being? A state of living in the putrid stinking old habits of sinful man? Of experiencing only the things in front of us, the material?
And what if what is good is a state of living in the spiritual, of offering our bodies as a living sacrifice to God, a state of giving to others before ourselves and trusting that God will see and meet our needs? What if what is good is no longer coveting those things we can't have, and being content to give away everything we do have? What if we were truly able to let go?
Would we be willing to give away everything?
Even our very lives?
Sometimes I wonder why Jesus asked that one rich guy to give away all of his possessions. I don't think that it's because Jesus thinks it's bad to have stuff. Maybe it's because it's bad to LOVE your stuff more than Jesus. Or maybe it's because, ultimately, God asks us to lay down our lives (our dreams, our hopes, our desires, and even our physical existence) for his kingdom.
And if you can't even give away your tunic, rich guy, how can you give away your very life?
I ask myself the same thing.